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MS’s Handwritten Letters
Original Document TITLE/CLASSIFICATION:
After Finally Leaving ACMTC
Original Document DATE:
[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and/or “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis. All added statements/notations are contained in brackets “[ ]”.]
I did as ordered, I got a job. There were no live-in jobs as Gen. Jim suggested, but I got a job even more crucifying to the flesh, the only job available and just right for me, a job caring for old, feeble minded [sic], helpless, demonized, incontenent [sic] forsaken people. 7 x worse.
Also I rented a studio at 30th + J, a very quiet and lonely place to come home to and fight of [sic] demons of dispair [sic], hopelessness, depression. 7 x worse.
I had to borrow money from my family to get going in this nightmare; very humbling! Nightmare indeed. Everywhere I look people are headed toward hell. It appears as tho I am also. Repentance [sic] seems so complicated to me. Fear continually hits me that I have no place of repentance. But I’m not giving up. “His compassions fail not. They are new every morning...For the Lord will not cast off forever. But tho He cause grief, yet will he [sic] have compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.” (Lam 3)
As much as I long for Fort Freedom, I am glad for you that I’m no longer there to problem you. If I am ever able to return (and there is nothing else I want) I will return as a help and not a burden.
It is very scary out here. 7 x worse.
I pray Steven’s demons are subdued now that I am away. Steven, Steven—I longed for him and the devil worked thru him to cause me to have to leave. My God forgive me! How could I have been so stupid.
Could I receive Battle Cry? Tapes? Is there anything I can do for you? Paint? Clean sidewalks? Anything?
Thank you again for your long suffering [sic] towards me.
There is nothing out here that I want. Him and Him only do I desire.
[The following short note was enclosed in the above letter.]
Any small chance of you dropping by for 5 minutes
I’ve done as Gen. Jim ordered + gotten a job. I’m at 3013 J st—1 blk away.
#3 (top buzzer)
I could use any kind of encouragement.
Next to Vogel Realty
[GJ's reply to this letter will be posted in a later document.]
Or write the Generals personally at the following address: