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MS’s Handwritten Letters
Original Document TITLE/CLASSIFICATION:
ACMTC MONTHLY PROGRESS REPORT for Jan. ‘87
Original Document DATE:
[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and/or “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis. All added statements/notations are contained in brackets “[ ]”.
ACMTC MONTHLY PROGRESS REPORT
For the month of Jan 19 87
RANK: None , ex-Captain
CURRENT RESPONSIBILITIES: (ex. camp commander, duties within branch, prayer leader...)
1. Report should be no less than 5 pages, but can be more than 5 if desired.
2. Please write clearly and to the point. Sloppy reports will be returned for revision.
WHAT TO COVER:
1. Areas of your walk which God has been correcting you on.
2. Areas of new spiritual growth.
3. Prayer burdens.
4. Anything else which you feel has had a significant affect on your spiritual growth.
Please make sure reports are turned in on schedule. Meeting deadlines is part of our training so be alert and on time.
1. Areas where God has been correcting me.
On Jan 10th the Lord judged me in hot anger as one who has failed to take His correction, as one who has spit upon Him. But at the same time He gave me a hope which I cling onto and will not let go of, He said that He would give me one more chance, that He would open His arms to me again upon a truly broken repentance [sic]. On Jan 11th I was dismissed from the army + excommunicated from the body. Since that time I have been off alone communicating with nobody except Barren who was ex-communicated a week after I. This has been the most painful, sorrowful time of my life as the good Lord has been showing me in His Word and by His Spirit how I have failed Him. It is a fearful thing to fall into the Hands of the Living God. There is no end to the grief that I feel over failing my God, He who died for me.
A woman Forsaken with unceasing sorrow
with no clear hope of redemption tomorrow
My husband, my children, my spirit family
all turn their heads with scorn from me
Who am I to complain for the punishment of sin?
When I have turned myself from Him
He who died on the Cross for me
to unloose the chains that sin had on me
Oh the pain, the shame, the unending grief
To cry + cry and yet no relief
My sins I must bear day after day
Because I was foolish now I must pay
He who carried my sins for me
Now in His anger is turned from me.
I have walked foolishly and uncircumspectfully [sic]. I have not been sober and therefore I have been easily deceived. I have been proud, thinking I was all right while all along I have been wretched + displeasing in God’s sight. I have not taken the council of the Lord, but instead I have leaned upon my own understanding and listened to lying vanities. For several weeks before I was dismissed from the army my husband kept warning me + rebuking me because of my laxness, my unattentiveness especially toward the children, and because I didn’t want to admit my failures and face up, I put up walls around myself + refused to take heed to his council. I am guilty of not submiting [sic] to my husband (ex-husband?). Capt. [S.] is an upright, god [sic] fearing man and I have failed as a wife. I am guilty also of riding on his shirttail so to speak. This I know was a drag on him.
I am guilty of jealousy, envy + strife. I have been jealous of some of the younger women in the body who are more apt than myself. God’s word says the last shall be first + the first shall be last. My thoughts had been evil thinking that I deserved more. This jealously [sic] was a blockage in the spirit.
I have been guilty of selfishness, self-centeredness, not prefering [sic] my brother or sister before myself.
I have been guilty of slothfulness, not giving God my all. Although I was always busy doing this or that, often times [sic] I could have managed my time better + some things I was doing were not necessary. My attitude at the artshop was not always good.
I believe what god [sic] is most angry with me about is that I’ve refused His correction, especially in the area of the correct rearing of my children. I have taken god [sic] too lightly and my repentences [sic] have been fake because I continue to fall back to my own understanding, my own ways which are not gods [sic] ways. No lasting change.
Overall I’ve been guilty of being passive, not pressing in and I’ve been a drag on the body.
2. Areas of spiritual growth.
Since I’ve been excommunicated from the body I’ve been faced with sink or swin [sic] and there’s been nobody to throw me a life preserver. at [sic] times the current has gotten very swift, Satan would love to pull me under + take my life, but I am determined to keep my head above waters and arrive to the Rock again. I’m being tested + tried on every corner and this is good. No longer can I look to the right or to the left for somone [sic] to grab hold of, but I must fight for myself and I must keep my eyes on the Rock which is the hope set before me.
I am being forced to take courage, to remain alert, to gut up, face up, to fight, to seek, to move steadfastly forward. I’m being forced to change! It’s do or die and I refuse to die. I’ve been stupid, but no longer. I praise God for the suffering that He’s Taking [sic] me Thru [sic] because I am becoming dead to myself and alive to Him. I trust in Him. Even in the seperation [sic] the Holy Spirit is comforting me, directing me. The first few days after being seperated [sic] from the body I was afraid to open my Bible, but when I kicked that fear out God opened up scripture after scripture to encourage me—judgement scriptures. Jonah 3:9-10, Lamentations 22-58, Jer 31:17-21, Isiah [sic] 57:15-16, Isa 54:6-8, Psms 118:17-21, Psms 69, Psms 38, Psms 51 and more. My Bible has become my companion, I sleep with it + read it several hours each day. It’s alive to me as never before. It cuts + it heals. Praise God! I am being forced to battle as never before. I thank God I have a sword in my hand. I thank God for the shield of faith because I have been under constant attack of fiery darts, lying vanities that try to pull me out of here. I believe God that He will not contend forever. I look to that last hope that He’s put before me. I have faith that God will deliver me from this pit. The fire will not always be on. When god [sic] is satisfied He will turn it off. It’s the refiners [sic] fire. I’ve been guilty in the past over complaining over this little thing + that—even over something so stupid like a sandwitch [sic] for lunch instead of a salad. No wonder god’s [sic] so angry with me. But where I’m walking now, I don’t dare complain. I deserve to be spit upon by those I love. I thank god [sic] for the provision of white bread with a little peanut butter.
I realize now how holy this ground is. How much I’ve taken it for granted! How unthankful I’ve been! What a priviledge [sic] it is to be in the army of the Lord! How much I long to be re-enlisted as an N.C.O.—even a private. This is the cry of my heart, to be able to come back into the presense [sic] of the Lord + fellowship with His people + prove myself as a soldier. I feel that I am ready, but God knows my heart better than I. I just want to get back in + start running. I don’t look to be anybody, but a servant. If Capt. [S.] would be pleased to take me back, I would be a good wife + mother. But I don’t even look to him taking me back. All human emotions, human sentimintalities [sic] I am having to put under foot! The desire of my heart is the Lord as my husband, the army my life. I’ve never wanted to be a problem child of yours. I’ve been foolish.
3. Prayer burdens. Being as gods [sic] anger has been kindled against me, my prayers have been primarily beseaching [sic] Him for His forgiveness. He’s been showing me how fake my repentance [sic] has been in the past where I’ve been sorry + cried from my heart but I’ve made no lasting change, ie. [sic] when the pressure is off I’ve grown lax and fallen back to my own ways. Repentance [sic] means lasting change. I fear the Lord greatly. Theres [sic] been nites when I have layed [sic] awake quivering in fear of the Lord.
I pray that god’s [sic] judgement on me will pass, that I can come to the place of broken repentance [sic] where He’ll accept me back. I pray that He’ll use me to warn others. I take him [sic] very seriously. I believe that what’s befallen me because of my stupidity is good and that god [sic] can use it for His good. I’ve always prayed for a vision of Hell believing that it would put some aggresiveness [sic] in me. I can say I’ve had a vision of Hell.
During this time of excommunication I have come to see my self as a nobody. God does not need me, the army does not need me. Yet I desire to be used of God; I desire to serve in His army at whatever capacity He desires of me, be it shining shoes or warning others to walk uprightly before god [sic]. There is nothing to live for outside of the Lord’s army. Nothing!
I pray god [sic] take this cup of suffering, this cup of wrath from me soon so I can again (truely) [sic] carry prayer burdens for the lost. It’s my hearts [sic] desire to be a laborer in Gods [sic] end time [sic] harvest. I’m more determined than ever to fight for the souls of men having been so near hell myself. I feel like my will is as never before aleigned [sic] with the Fathers [sic]. Aba Father is the cry of my heart.
General Jim’s Response to
MS’s Letter #2
HERE WE FIND MS filling out ACMTC’s “MONTHLY PROGRESS REPORT”. All Corps soldiers filled these out, and she wanted to continue doing so even after we dismissed her.
In general, how can we explain these handwritten letters (there are more to follow and are shocking in light of her Testimony Under Oath—TUO) in comparison to all the media reports? When asked by a reporter about these letters, seeing that she couldn’t deny their existence!, she simply told the news that in these letters to us (the Generals), she wrote “What we wanted to hear.” If this is so, which we do not believe for a moment, then she lied and used deceit. If she wrote out of a half-way repentant heart, and we believe this is the truth, then she lied to the courts and to the media also. She damns herself either way.
Let me highlight several things from Letter #2, in contrast with her TUO and other reports:
“...Since that time I have been off alone communicating with nobody except Barren...” (Letter #2). “Barren” was none other than Jacque Johnson, AKA Rachel Johnson (then a 2nd Lt.). The name “Barren” RJ used because she felt as though she was not bringing forth spiritual fruit or maturity. Truly she was a troubled lady (read her personal testimony in “Setting the Record Straight”).
They called me Forsaken!
In MS’s TUO she is quoted as saying, “...At this service Jim and Lila Green declared in front of the entire group, my children included, that I had been ‘forsaken’. They told everyone to no longer refer to me as [MS], or Captain [S.], or Mrs. [S.], but my new name was FORSAKEN.”
In Letter #2, MS wrote a poem about herself: “A woman Forsaken.” Yes, we called her by that name often only because she named herself FORSAKEN!
Letter #2: “For several weeks before I was dismissed from the army my husband kept warning me + rebuking me because of my laxness, my unattentiveness especially toward the children, and because I didn’t want to ADMIT my failures and FACE UP. I PUT UP WALLS AROUND MYSELF + REFUSED to take heed to his council.”
To the court and the media, MS acts like she loved her dear children so much. The real truth is that she hated being a mother! Even before we ever formed FLM/ACMTC, she used to dump her kids off on my wife to take care of. Her oldest daughter knows this to be true. MS hated to correct them on the smallest matters. We fed them many times because she hated to cook. These are not untrue things I am writing about. They were true life events.
To the court she acted like Gen. Deborah (Lila) and I stole her precious kids. No, she only put on a good show to get pity and, of course, 20 million dollars from us! That helps, doesn’t it, MS?
MS (TUO): “My most frequent thoughts were those of having my husband’s warm arms around me, and tucking my children to bed in warm cozy beds.”
Here MS really gets beside herself in her TUO: “For six months [Remember this, folks—6 months!] ... I was not allowed to talk to anybody and nobody, including my CHILDREN...it was like being in solitary confinement.”
Friends, this is a BIG LIE!
On the Dr. Phil Show, MS stated, “I was not allowed to see or talk to my children for six months.” Many of the media reports quote her the same way.
MS (TUO): “The morning after my name was changed to ‘Forsaken’, I was ordered by my husband to wash all the breakfast dishes [Really a hard job for a mom?] ... my children asked their father, ‘Daddy, what’s the matter with mommy?’”
MS (TUO): “Although I was forbidden [By whom, MS?] to talk to my children I could at least HEAR them and SEE them from a distance ... If I LEFT [I thought we held you CAPTIVE for 6 months in a shed, MS?] I might never be able to see my children again.” Boo hoo BULL! This sounds good to a GREEDY ATTORNEY that might get 90 percent of the lawsuit, but this story is full of black holes.
MS (TUO): “In barracks #1 we were given a bedroom [But what about that dirty ol’ shed?] ... Barracks #1 is where I lived for 3 ½ years with my family. The bedroom we were given was at one time my children’s bedroom [Note how she plays on mothers’ emotions!]. My daughter [IS, later changed to RS] and my son-in-law lived in ths house presently.”
MS (TUO): “In May my husband came into barracks #1 with our youngest son Steven [Oops! here we have her son, when she NEVER saw or talked with her children!] who...had become a behavior problem for the generals during the period of my confinement.” Confinement? MS spends page after page in her TUO telling us about all the work she was made to do and about several other living quarters she lived in. Confined? Are you confused yet?
MS (in her TUO) continues: “He [her husband] said that I was no longer to work at the Art Shop, but I was to stay home and take care of Steven.”
WAIT JUST A MINUTE, FOLKS! Poor MS, I thought she had no money? No one worked at the Art Shops without getting paid, even she admits this, and here we have her husband telling her to stop working at the Art Shop (which means she must have been working there during her “imprisonment”) in order to take care of the son she tells the court and the media that she NEVER got to see or talk to. Humm!!
MS (TUO): “For four months Jacque and I had a total of $20 for spending ... I used to collect rags because I had no money to buy feminine napkins.” WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE, FOLKS! How could this “prisoner” collect rags while being “locked up” for 6 months?
Let me return my readers back to the Steven story.
MS (TUO): He [her husband] said that Steven was to EAT WITH ME [apart from everyone else] ...” But, but...I thought you and Jacque were locked up in a dirty ol shed for 24 weeks and ate only peanut butter sandwiches every day—no kids!
MS (TUO): “For the two and one half months we were FORCED to live in the shed, we were only given 6 stale white bread [skimpy] peanut butter sandwiches per day—NOTHING ELSE. Our sandwiches were always stuffed in a plastic bag and left at our dirt doorstep during different hours of the day—sometimes not until almost the end of the work day. At times I would get so hungry from working so hard [—at the Art shops or in the camp, MS?] that I resorted to eating out of the camp’s garbage cans. I went from a size 10 to a size 5 skirt in 3 months time.”
Don’t that beat all? She tells us that she was “virtually locked up” (as one newspaper quoted her), and now she tells us that we made her, sorry, ORDERED her to work. Remember what she stated here about her diet, for elsewhere she tells us something very interesting.
MS in Letter #2: “I’ve been guilty in the past of complaining over this little thing + that—even over something so stupid like a sandwich [sic] for lunch instead of a salad. No wonder god’s [sic] so angry with me. But ... I thank god [sic] for the provision of white bread with a little peanut butter.”
MS was not singled out to just eat peanut butter sandwiches. Everybody in camp ate the SAME bag lunches—EVERYBODY, my wife and I included. But this was not all that was put in our lunch bags. Why not ask her darling daughter, she helped make the lunches! We also ate breakfasts and suppers, but I guess she failed to mention this. On purpose? Maybe!
MS in Letter #2: “I’ve never wanted to be a problem child of yours. I’ve been foolish.” At least she admits being a problem child. She was not the only one. There were others. I believe MS could have been restored if she and her attorney hadn’t conspired to destroy our community.
MS in Letter #2: “He’s [i.e., God, not the Generals] been showing me how FAKE my repentance has been in the past...” True, she never changed ... even to this day.
MS in Letter #2: “I’ve always prayed for a vision of Hell...” Yet MS has mocked us over the years for our believing in Hell. On the Phil Show, while MS was being interviewed, General Deborah’s voice is heard (to mock her) in the background saying, “There’s a heaven and there’s a hell.”
Who showed you visions of Hell, MS? Was it Deborah, Jim, or God? The newspapers constantly refer to our stand on Hell. In fact, you may write for our two FREE booklets on HELL. If the Bible says there is a Hell, I will say there is a Hell!
MS in Letter #2: “I can say I’ve had a vision of Hell.” That’s nice. Might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of this future home for all liars.
“Outside [of heaven] are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who LOVES and PRACTICES FALSEHOOD” (Rev. 22:15, NIV). The KJV uses the word LIE.
Or write the Generals personally at the following address: